Tales
From The Dadside
Still Reeling
So in everyone's best interest, I will take a little breather and do some rehashing. I've been meaning to do a "Best of" list on my sidebar for a while and this weekend showed me how useful something like this can be. If all you can muster is "er... um... *hic*" when a new acquaintance asks the question "what posts should I read?" You need to do one of two things: lay off the cocktails, or have a list.
Here's a list:
If Jeopardy Were Written by Parents(Toy) Breaking News
What Ever Happened to "Girls Have Cooties"??
Knocking Out My Demons
Homies on a Train
Iron Chef Fury
Such Sweet Sorrow
Darwin Would Be Proud
Crossing Over
Respeqt my Intelleqt, Qid!
To my mom blogger friends: you are all as brilliant, witty, hawt, nice and real (as in "keeps it..") as your blogs say you are. No "MySpace" effect there at all.
To my sister (Auntie Mei): thanks for mobilizing all your resources to take care of Fury for a couple days at the last minute. Best birthday present ever.
To d Wife: thank you for letting me go up to San Fran to meet these "blogging people" when I was supposed to be taking care of Fury while you're at your tradeshow. Put an "est" at the end of all the descriptions above, and that is you.
Damn These Newfangled Phones
I'm a dial-and-talk kinda guy. I probably have all sorts of cool functions in this phone that I'm paying for and not using. And I swear I saw a "popcorn" button the other day. But will somebody please show me how to retrieve this? My neck's feeling a little stiff today...
[Editor's note: you all crack me up. I'm not THAT inept. Read the screen on my phone carefully, making sure to read all the letters...]
*Sniff*
I may have looked skyward and said "finally!!" when you opened the box, unfolded the instructions and did not ask me to "build this now please!"
And I may have sat next to you and opened my laptop to "blog" and reminded you nonchalantly to "ask me if you need help." And I may have even said 20 times "Fury, I am so proud of you! You are building that Lego set all by yourself!"
Because I was.
And I was genuinely amused when you added your own twist to the final product.
Cirque du Battle Droid?
But listen here, son. I still have a good 8 years before you can tell me to drop you off 3 blocks from school so you can make your solo entrance unaccompanied by your crazy old dad. Until then, you need me. I mean, I'm no Justin Quan (the youngest kid on team Lego who also happens to be the Bionicle speed-building champion)...
Actually, I really could have used Justin's help around Xmas time.
But what your old man lacks in speed, he makes up in insanity dedication. Oh, and I have a credit card. And not all sets say "ages 6 and up."
Just sayin'...
I'm Only 3 Years Older Than d Wife
Today. And for the next 9 days (hint hint).
Happy Birthday Lisa!
I noted a while ago that she likes French Macaroons. So, her birthday cake is a custom French Macaroon cake that I dreamt up with the good folks at Europane in Pasadena (killer lemon squares, croissants and French Macaroons!).
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy biiiirthday dea--
She really likes French Macaroons. And Fury likes chocolate shavings.
(And I like patting myself on the back.)
I Must Really Like You Guys
...because I was planning on taking this recipe to the grave. Or put up a website and start a business around it. Turns out I'm over the 50 lb. weight limit for netherworld luggage and I'm simply too busy to even register a domain name. "Blog about it" was choice #3 (come to think of it, that's choice #3 for pretty much everything that goes on in my life). So, my friends, I present to you the New England Clam Chowder recipe that won me a new family.
A Little "Gorilla" Marketing
Hey folks, a quick follow-up to yesterday's post about the book Don't Touch That! If you purchase (or win) the book and throw a review or plug up on your blog, Jeff will draw a digital pic of your kid(s) with their favorite animal and email it to you. Just send him an email (jeffdaycartoons@gmail.com) with a link to your post, a pic of your kid(s), their animal of choice and he'll get crackin'!
Kinda like this...
Fury with his animal of choice:
Jeff's Interpretation:
Better Than Legos??
“Dad, I wanna read the book instead of playtime tonight.”
I wish I recorded that. I will never hear that again. We play with Legos during his pre-bedtime playtime. Nothing trumps Legos in Fury’s mind.
As far as book reviews go, that says it all really. There’s nothing I can add to lend more credibility to this book, but I’ll try. For those of you who visit this blog, you may have noticed the badge on the right side that says BusyDad Tales. Some of you may have actually clicked on it before. If you enjoy the comics, chances are you (and your kids) will thoroughly enjoy the book Don’t Touch That! Because the same guy wrote it.
Yes, my partner in comic crime, Jeff Day, has written a kid’s book! A very entertaining and informative kid’s book. Don’t Touch That! is a guide to all things icky, poisonous and bite-y that one may encounter in the great outdoors. Like a field guide with all the boring stuff stripped out.
With chapters that cover all your basic categories (plants, insects, reptiles, mammals, etc.), Don’t Touch That! does a great job explaining the effects of everything from a poison ivy rash to a bite from a rabid critter. But more importantly, it teaches kids how to identify, avoid and treat scratchies and owies when they occur. And unlike me, Jeff actually knows what he’s talking about. He’s a doctor.
My favorite feature of this book? The cartoon illustrations scattered throughout the pages. They give the writing a twist, and to be honest, they themselves are a little twisted. But that’s what’s cool about it. This is not your typical nature book.
I was going to provide you with some excerpts, but I don’t like to type. Instead, here’s me and Fury reading some passages from the book:
Jeff informed me this weekend that his book is finally available through Amazon.com, and it’s starting to move. This could not have happened to a nicer, more talented guy. I highly recommend this book and you have my personal guarantee that it’s the best $9.95 you’ll ever spend on a book for your kid. And while you’re at it, check out his personal website. The guy can draw!
Of course, I’m all about the giveaways! I asked Jeff to give me a few copies to send to my readers. He not only sent me some, he drew a cartoon on each and autographed them. If you want to enter the drawing, please leave a comment about anything having to do with a creepy crawly experience that you or your kid has encountered. Please note that he will feature them on his website as well.
I’ll start:
When I was about 9, a yellowjacket landed on my burger. I did not see it. Yellowjackets do not like the inside of people’s mouths, apparently. He promptly retaliated by stinging me on the tongue. As I screamed, he seized that window of opportunity to crawl out my mouth and fly away. That bastard was telling the story to his pollen jock buddies for years to come.
Oh – and the trumping of Legos lasted a day and a half, in case you’re wondering. The next night, he asked me to sit by him and read the book. As he played with Legos. Spoil my kid much?
BusyDad
in Videos, Deserving Plugs, Reviews
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Rollin' on tha Eastside... the Far Eastside
You Want the Food? You Can't Handle the Food!
Hey you! Put. Down. The. General Gao's Chicken. Lemme lay some real Chinese cuisine on you. My China trip was an eye-opening experience on all levels. Especially the food part. I really thought I knew Chinese food. Sadly, even the authentic restaurants here give you but a watered-down version of what's available in the motherland. You know how after a while all Chinese food tastes the same? Should we go to Golden Jade Dragon Palace, Jade Palace Dragon Garden, Golden Dragon Garden Palace or Garden Palace of Gold Dragons? Well in China it would take a lifetime of eating to reach that point, due to the sheer number of regions, indigenous cultures and ethnic groups you've got there.
I'm posting today to give you a fresh perspective. Chinese food isn't all batter-dipped deep fried hunks of meat covered in day-glo sweet and sour sauce (as much as I admittedly love that). It is complex beyond comprehension. I have never experienced as intense an interplay of flavors and spices as I did when I was eating in China. These pictures and descriptions do not do any of these dishes justice, but it's the best I can do from here.
(I promise, after my next post, which will be a China video of epic proportions, we will resume our regularly-scheduled Fury and fatherhood funnies).
The Little Things
It’s great to be sober home! I hope you all had a great two weeks while I was gone. I tried to update my sites more and visit your blogs, but it was a losing battle with my crazy schedule which consisted daily of work and conference activities during the day, official banquets with government folks at night (where much drinking ensued), followed by unofficial but essential business-building activities that lasted until early morning (that I for some reason can’t recall).
From what I can remember, China was beyond incredible. The experts can explain it better than I, so I won’t go into how and why China will soon represent the benchmark for virtually all metrics against which modern society is measured. But let me just say when you are there, you simply feel it.
But somebody get me a decent napkin already!
Click to read more about some things that you don’t realize you need until you are in China:
A Postcard From China
Dear Friends, Wish you were here. Fifty cent beer. ‘nuff said. Some quick tidbits from my 2-week China business trip so far…
- Crosswalks exist for decorative purposes only.
- Busses are harder to dodge than they look.
- National pastimes: ping-pong and hocking loogies.
- If you have a shaved head, people stare at you.
- In China, only inmates have shaved heads.
- Inmates speaking English are a novelty here, apparently.
- One of my Chinese colleagues joked: wouldn’t it be funny if you also had tattoos?
- He finds it hard to believe I am a VP. And have never done time.
- Don’t ever order coffee here.
- Unless you like your Irish Coffee without whiskey. And with whipped cream and lemon rinds.
- Harbin is the brewing capital of China. “Harbin” brand beer is the Bud of China. Literally. Budweiser just bought them.
- Harbin is also the sausage capital of China. They make a mean kielbasa (we’re just over the Russian border).
- Does that make Harbin the Milwaukee of China? Or chronologically speaking, does that make Milwaukee the Harbin of the US?
- Fifty cent beer + brewing capital of China = BD can forgive the lack of coffee.
- Part of the above is because BD found the Starbucks coffee beans that he thought someone had stolen out of his luggage.
- Ever see a Chinese restaurant with its own on-site brewery? Awesome.
- The English sign on the vats says “homemade beer.” Cute.
- My ability to speak Chinese miraculously returns when I drink.
- Chinese people’s ability to understand Chinese mysteriously disappears when I drink.
- The food in China is incredible. But I cried hallelujah when I found a McDonalds.
- I appreciate how pristine the air is in Los Angeles.
- Have you ever had to chew your air?
- Everything Fury knows about China, he learned from Mulan.
- Which is probably why when I Skyped with him this morning, he asked “Did the Huns get you yet?”
Just a Quick Heads Up
You: Everybody was Kung-Fu fight-iiing. Those cats wer--
*WHUMP* oooof!
Your Kid (admiring his new gut punch technique): …fast as lightning!
(Hey, guess what? Dad's out of town and he left his keys behind. Sssh.)
<whispers>
Hey? Are you all still here? Mr Lady, checking in. It's been, what, two days? I'm pretty sure he's not going to come walking back in any second now because he left his wallet behind, right?
WHOO HOO!
So, what shall we do with this big ol' blog, all that NewCastle, and no BusyDad?
</whispers>
In Other News, Vol. 2
Well folks, I'm about to get on a plane for China. For two weeks! Before I go, I wanted to tell you a bit about my trip, talk about Sesame Street and give away some toys. Did I mention my blog is banned in China? Did I mention how cool I think that is? Me? Subversive? Hot diggity!
W8 Loss Wednesday #8 - No Pain, No Gain
I know, it's Friday...
This week, Fury helps me illustrate the concept of "No Pain, No Gain." This is also the last W8Loss Wednesday that I will be doing for a few weeks, because I'm off to China on business until the last week of June. I'd love to do an on-location edition, but the government bans all video hosting sites (it's quite sad to know that 1 billion people are deprived of the dramatic gopher). I will try to keep up with posting, however. This blog is in fact banned/blocked in China but I have a workaround, so fear not! Until then, enjoy this video:
Don't forget to check out my W8 Loss Wednesday buddies:
PG @ AnnoyinglyBoring.com
Scott Townsend @ W8LossWednesday.Blogspot.com